Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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