Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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