The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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