Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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