Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize