Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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