i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
