all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
