Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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