you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
