yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Say something about gay babies.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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