Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
