I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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