I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
