I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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