So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
