let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
