I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
