is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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