I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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