We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
