guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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