that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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