It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
