Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
