His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
