Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
