wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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