A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
