Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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