my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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