Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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