for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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