We're like a lot better than the average bears
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dicks are not precious.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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