Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
