I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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