I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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