he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
