??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
