I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
