Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize