so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize