i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
