Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
