yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
