Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
