Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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