i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
