you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
