like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
