Don't make out with my wife yet
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Randomize
