he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
