I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
