you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
