shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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