Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize