I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
