New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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