Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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