Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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