I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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