You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
