By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
